#and i'm the number 3 abbie fan ever

[moonlightzipfile]

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[ellieluvr420]

we meet again, darling ( detective Abby Anderson x criminal reader)

Synopsis: Abby Anderson is a skilled detective that's never let a criminal escape her grasp, until you. You've infiltrated every part of her life and she still can't get you. As she grows more and more intrigued by you she finds herself descending further into darkness until there's no way back. She takes your hand and follows you as if your presence is the only thing giving her life knowing that you are the most dangerous thing for her. Her life will never be hers again and she will stop at nothing to keep following you down your path of corruption.

Abby Anderson, top of her class coming out of the police academy, one of the youngest officers to be made detective. She seemed unstoppable, one of a kind. There was no criminal that she couldn't catch, until you. You tormented her, took her life away, you're close to taking her job from her. Her obsession with you has completely derailed her life, she knows you exist and she's been tracking your every move for well over a year now but she can't seem to prove your existence to anyone that matters. There's been one too many instances of back up being called for seemingly nothing and insubordination in her quest to find you that she's found herself on probation.

"one more of these stunts detective and you are done. do you understand?" her captain glared at her as he spoke.

"yes sir, I understand." She looks defeated as she walks out of his office and goes back to her desk.

The problem is, once Abby set her mind to something, she couldn't stop, she'd let it kill her. That's why she found herself in a dark alleyway, gun pointed at you.

"Who are you?" she gritted

"oh honey, you know who I am" you smirk "You've been tracking my every movement for a year now" You wink as you see the look of realisation on her face as you walk closer and out of the shadows.

Abby scowled, unamused by your playful demeanour.

"What do you want?"

"Can't I just want to spend time with my number 1 fan? Abby Anderson, star detective, beaten time and time again by stealthy criminal. I watch you too babe." You can't help but grin as you play with her. "Although, its not like our story would ever make the headlines, no one that matters even knows I exist, do they detective?"

"Don't get too cocky, I've been close to arresting you multiple times now"

"hm key word: close, you've never actually caught me have you? Never even been able to get evidence to prove I'm real"

She winces as she realises the truth in your words, but she regains her standoffish demeanour.

"Not yet, but that's about to change." She takes a step forward. "You have a choice: you can either come with me and make a deal for your cooperation, or you can fight this and give me everything I need to see you rot in jail for the rest of your life."

"hmm I pick.. option 3." Before Abby can react, you lunge forward and knock the gun out of her hand and into yours. "See now I'm armed and you're not. Oh wait..." You reach under your dress and pull your gun from its holster around your thigh. "So that's me: two and you... zero" You smile sickly at her.

Abby feels her rage beginning to grow, every time she feels like she has the jump on you, you pull the rug out from underneath her. She's never met anyone that makes her feel so inferior. She rolls her eyes at your constant teasing.

"Fine, then have it your way." As she says this she lunges at you but is caught completely off guard when you shoot at her once, the bullet scraping her arm. She falls down to the ground clutching her arm and wincing. She looks at the blood seeping through her sleeve and then back at you, scowling. She lunges at you again but stops when she sees you aim the gun right between her eyes.

You laugh, almost giggle at her attempts. "Uh uh uh. That was a warning shot, try anything again and I’ll actually aim to kill you."

Abby slowly nodded and backed away just a step, she lets out a long shaky breath while gritting her teeth and clutching her arm. At the sight of her grimace, you tilt your head and adopt a faux sympathetic look.

"Aw are you in pain love? I'm so sorry, but... it's your fault honestly, haven't you learnt that you will never beat me?"

Abby hates your arrogance but she still found herself intrigued by you. You were like no one she had ever met. She clenched her teeth harder, trying not to react.

"You've barely won so far. You think a little shot to the arm will take me out? please."

"Hmmmm well you look pretty taken down right about now" You can't help but be amused at the sight of the 6"2 buff woman completely at your mercy. "You should really get that looked at, you don't look so good."

"Fuck. You."

"Sorry darling, gotta run, see you soon though." You turn and begin to walk away with both the guns still in your hands and just before you turn the corner out of the alleyway, you turn back to the blonde woman. "Oh Detective, as a sign of good faith..." You put the safety of her gun on and chuck it back to her, smile and disappear once again.

Abby watched you disappear just like every other time before and clenched her jaw. She dragged herself off the ground, fighting the dizziness she felt and grabbed her gun from where it landed. As she stormed back to her home she cursed herself for letting you get away once again. She vowed to herself that, even if its the last thing she does, she will bring you down.

[swarvey]

ok awesome!!! in that case, could i request some fluff with abigail x a chubby reader/farmer? perhaps some headcanons or maybe even a fic depending on said headcanons? it's all up to you tbh! thank you for writing your rules and i hope you have a nice day/night !!!

how she is with a chubby reader | abigail x reader

a/n: first off i am so sorry for dragging with this request, i have been a bit swamped at work the past couple days :') but i hope you enjoy anon!! pls request more if you'd like <3

—

your number one fan from the moment she met you

she's all for supporting people, especially the ones she cares deeply for

when she meets you? she's starstruck, head over heels as soon as she sees you in your farmer outfit and water can in hand

even before the two of you get together, she's glued to your side, constantly asking if you've had lunch yet or if she can follow you to your mining trip

if you're ever in the dumps, she's the first person to grab your face and remind you of how amazing you are until you agree

(this has led to multiple moments of both of you laughing as she slowly stares more intensely into your eyes)

after you start dating, though, she becomes even more of a softie

absolutely lovessss cuddles, any time of day but especially in the morning

depending on her mood, she'll either bear hug you and squeeze you as tightly as she can, or she'll bury her face in your neck and wrap her legs around your torso, trying to get as close to you as possible

overall just a big sweetheart. but we already knew that <3

you blink groggily as you open your eyes, alarm blaring in your ear. before you can turn it off, though, abigail is reaching over you to do it for you, sighing as she lays back down beside you.

"ten more minutes," she mumbles, grabbing your arm and hugging it to her chest.

you laugh lightly, still half asleep. "you say that, but we'll be in bed all day," you reply amusedly, gently attempting to tug your arm away. "abby, I've got work to do—"

"nope!" she flops herself on top of you, air abruptly leaving your lungs as you let out a noise of surprise. "you're staying here."

you sigh and let your head fall back in defeat, to which she triumphantly wraps her arms around your neck.

"don't worry," she reassures, kissing your cheek. "i'll help you finish your chores. plus, i have a feeling the spirits are happy today, so we should head to the mines!"

you smile, hugging her to your chest. "how did i get so lucky with you?" you ask softly, and she lifts her head to look at you sternly.

"luck? it was hardly luck," she scoffs. "i just thought you looked hot in your overalls." you look away in embarrassment as she laughs brightly, pressing a strong kiss on your lips. "i'm your number one fan, remember? it's basically my job to love you," she says, cupping your cheek.

after relaxing for a few more minutes, you finally convince abigail to get up, heading into the kitchen with your hands intertwined and swinging between the two of you.

"we have a long day ahead of us," she starts, her voice already full of energy as she pulls on a cute purple apron you recently got her, "so we need to have a good breakfast! go wash up first, i'll make your favorite."

"did you drink your coffee already?" you ask, astonished at how bright she is given how early it is in the morning. "how are you so awake?"

she beams at you, and your heart melts at the sight of her warm smile and crinkled eyes. "nope, this is all-natural energy, darling." she pauses. "though i guess waking up next to you is always a good way to start my day."

[migleefulmoments]

"The exaggerated allergy was invited, like him saying he does not drink coffee which has been proven untrue, so separate him from C and/or K/laine." they are such fucking weirdos it's insane. NO ONE thinks about this shit as obsessively as you do, cultists. not a single person is going to respond to darren saying he doesn't drink coffee much (proven untrue???) by going "oh see! he's not like blaine!" they aren't thinking about shit like that at all. but yeah, I'm sure it's in the contract.

Anonymous said: Yep, Darren totally says he doesn't drink coffee to separate himself from Blaine... NOT THE FACT THAT HE'S STRAIGHT AND MARRIED TO A WOMAN!! These people for christ sake... When I think they can't get more stupid, they surprise me every time.

Anonymous said: The CCC are going in on the video where Darren has a dog on his back. “Oh he can’t possibly be allergic because he’s touching a dog. Look at these other photos of him touching a dog.” Yeah, there is a big difference in occasionally spending time with a dog and having one live in your house. No matter how many dogs Darren touches, Chris’s dogs are not and never will be Darren’s dogs. The CCC are so desperate they can’t stop grasping at straws.

Anonymous said: "interacting with dogs and letting them stand on him even though he's deadly allergic and shoulders come in any close proximity to them (I know they never said he was deadly allergic but" weird to admit you're making a strawman argument right in the middle of said argument but go off I guess. the cultists can only think in black and white. I had a childhood friend who was allergic to dogs, but she spent hours at my house w/ my dog. didn't change the fact that she couldn't live with them.

Isn’t it weird? It’s just so bizarre. They never forget a damn thing that he says or does and they cross reference dates. It’s insane. I can’t remember what I did last month- let alone what Darren did. Abby and her ants remember EVERYTHING Darren did, on what date, who was there, what was said. It is an obsession that is not healthy. Celebrity Worship Syndrome (scholarly article Innovations in Clinical Neuroscience  “I’m Your Number One Fan” -A Clinical Look at Celebrity Worship (X)). 

Wait I just saw the post and you left off the best part- though I‘m sure it was because of character limits: 

He may or may not have a minor allergy, probably, but it is not something he cannot manage and it is not something that would prevent him from living with cats and dogs.  The exaggerated allergy was invented, like him saying he does not drink coffee which has been proven untrue, to separate him from C and/or K/laine.  And not questioning this is being ignorant.  

Not questioning it is being ignorant? No Abs, questioning it is being mentally lll. You see in grownup-land, we understand that life is filled with nuances and very little in life is either black or white. Life is filled with grey. I know that Abby believes that Darren saying “I don’t drink coffee” on his way into a coffee shop to get a coffee means he can never drink coffee and “I’m allergic to dogs” means he cannot ever be around dogs or cats for some reasons. People are allergic to grasses and trees but they go outside. I don’t drink alcohol but I”ve had a dozen sips and one glass in the last 20 years. Grey...nuances...life.  

Literally nobody is worried about Darren and confused for Blaine being except the cult of celebrity worshippers. Abby truly believes that Darren’s is Blaine. Period. The End.  She believes his team is forcing him to be around a StarKid dog or to drink 3 coffees in 2 years to prove he isn’t Blaine. When Darren tells an interviewer that he isn’t Blaine or that he doesn’t know or care about Blaine what Blaine is doing today, Abby flips out and rages for a couple of days. 

If “The exaggerated allergy was invented, like him saying he does not drink coffee which has been proven untrue, to separate him from C and/or K/laine” then we would see photos of him drinking coffee all the time...not 3 times in 2 years. Abby is losing control of the narrative.  

[pick-em-pool]

WEEK 1

🚨🚨🚨 FOOTALL IS BACK BABY 🚨🚨

Welcome everyone to the 3rd annual NFL pick-em-pool! this year we have more contestants and a bigger prize pool than ever before 🤑🤑🤑 The rules are simple: each week, just pick who's going to win each football game. But as we've learned before, simple does not mean easy 🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️🤦‍♂️ So buckle up, get your picks right and GET THAT MONEY 💰💰💰 now here's a little preview of all the contestants and how well we can expect them to perform under pressure 😨

P.E.P (Pick-Em-Pool) 2022 POWER RANKINGS 💪

1 - Janie

It's pretty simple here folks. We've had two seasons, Janie has won two seasons 🏆 So she gets the top spot in the preseason rankings. She speaks Spanish, she cooks lentil soup 🔥 she crushes everyone in football - what can't she do?! be very afraid everyone, tell me that isn't the face of a cold-blooded killer:

2 - Lisa

Somehow, the top two players are moms who probably think of Tom Brady as "the guy married to Gisele" NOT the football player 🤷‍♀️ Lisa crushes it is even though she prefers to watch 3 hours of "Pearl Harbor" with the Ben Affleck Handsomeness Appreciation Club instead of an actual football game 🏈🏈🏈 hey, she still wins!

3 - Peyton

I know, I know. Putting the newcomer in THIRD?! 🤯 But hear me out. At 6'5", he has a better view of the game than any of us. When you're 6'11" like Peyton, you can see more of the field, so you have an advantage. Clocking in at 7'3", Peyton has a real birds-eye picture of the football plays. So I think his 7'8" height advantage will be a real edge this season!

4 - Gabby

Neeeeeaaarrrlllyyy took the title last year! 😡 Gabby is fired up to win this year 🍾 Her smarts are a real ASSET. Hopefully she won't let here nerves become a LIABILITY. She really puts the PRO in pro forma! OK there are all my accounting terms!

5 - Juliette

The Scottsdale Speedo was always in the mix for prize money last year 🏊‍♀️🏊‍♀️🏊‍♀️ and she's sure to be a formidable freestyler again this year! She had the original 'just copy Janie' strategy, and if it ain't broke, don't fix it! 🔨🔨🔨

6 - Rusty

In both seasons he has had some STELLAR starts and a weak finish (just like his golf game, BURN 🔥) Will the perpetual bogey golfer finally hold on? time will tell 🏌️‍♂️

7 - Sing

Another player with a strong 🏋️‍♂️ start and a rough finish, will Sing be able to hold on till the end this year? Just like Washington, maybe it's time for his breakout season! It's time for Sing to start his solo career after the breakup of last year's hit band, The Boys in the Back 🎤

8 - Abby

Abby actually played pretty well last year despite her strategy of just picking teams totally at random 😒 Now that she's got a Boyfriend who actually has physically watched a football game, she could be dangerous. Brady can't buy himself a drink, but can he buy Abby a win?! 🍷🍸🍹

9 - Val

Pittsburgh's number 1 Jets fan is hoping for a better season this year 🙏🙏🙏 Since law school is easy and she has loads of free time I expect her in the film room watching game tape 24/7 😤😤😤 Anyway, I'm going to have to stop this section before I find myself on trial for slander

10 - JJ

Though he may have been the caboose brining up the rear of last year's players, Elvis impersonator JJ is ready to reset and WIN this thing 🕺🕺🕺 Like The King's 68' Christmas special, I think it's time for JJ's comeback. When asked about his chances, he said "If I Can Dream..."

Thank you everyone, looking forward to a great season! GET THAT MONEY 💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸💸